Something quite alien

Well after the last dramas for the week, and the 'taking it easy' (see bored out of my skull), it was off for the necessary 'we just want to check that everything is ok' scan. Friday morn saw Riff and I parked at the local Diagnostics place all set for the gel on the belly procedure. 'Did you drink your litre of water beforehand?' the lady asked. 'If I see a sign for bathroom, I'm going to pop,' I said. 'I'll take that as a yes,' she said grinning maniacally.
What is it with people who derive glee from others dying to wee?

On the bed, suitably mundane scanning over other bits. Ovaries? Check. Other girly bits? Check. No funny looking lumps? Check. Oooo whats this here? Seems I had a bubble in my innards that had decided to sort of pop. Nothing to worry about, gave me a scare though, but it explains alot of bad stabby pain and general discomfort for the week. Phew, weight off my mind. blip blip blip ooo whats that? That would happen to be your baby's heart beating. IT FRICKIN WHAT?!?!?!? Holy crap!

There it was, on that grainy screen, a little fluttering thing, so tiny, beating away madly. Riff standing there in shock, I'm lying there in shock just thinking 'oh my gosh, it's a little babay in there'. There was something quite surreal about the whole thing. Hard to believe really, still can't associate the photos on the scans, from what is actually happening. Nah, can't be me surely.

So there you have it, first month, first attempt, it bloody happened. All the dramas, the wondering, the waiting, the obsessive testing, it happened. Crap, all the other associated crap starts now. The obsessing about what kind of mother will I be, can we afford it, what about work, how the heck am I going to tell my siblings/friends/world? Guess I've already covered that one, thank you mister internet. I am only about 7 weeks now, so still have the danger weeks to go, only about 5 more of them so am being a good girl and taking it kinda easy. Queasiness has already kicked in and it's quite weird for someone who usually eats huge meals constantly, I can't eat alot of my usual stuff at the moment, makes me too ill.

So there you have it boys and girls, appears I am 'up the duff', officially, with the grainy images to prove it. ;-)

grounded

Well I'm stuck at home for the week, docs orders to take it easy. Rejoice you say? Well yeah, except I'm not allowed to do anything, and I mean *anything*.

Remember that obsessive testing stage I had? Well I waited 2 days, did the test again, 2 lines albeit one being very faint. Told Mum. 'Wait 2 weeks she said and try again'. 2 Weeks!!! I'm impatient so I waited 5 days. Ripped that sucker from it's plastic wrap while getting dressed for work one morning.

2 lines. Nothing faint about either of them.

Crap, what does this mean? Called out to Riff. 'What does this mean?' he asks. Looks like I'm pregnant dude. Quick, we're late for work.

Let me just say at this point. Movies lie. In the movies there is hugging, there is kissing, there is champagne corks popping, doves coo, angels sing about the impending birth, and there is even a nice, flattering filter camera filter thing going on. Curse them and their big ticket budget. One of my friends said you basically go 'whoo' get dressed and go to work. And thats what we did. 'Whoo' and then went off to work. There was goofy grins on the way to work, goofy comments on ICQ at work, but aside from that, nothing much else happened. Until a week later I blew my nose and next thing I know I'm sitting in a doctors office discussing a possible miscarriage. That was a week ago.
Turns out that no one tells you that when you fall pregnant you have to take it really easy, and I mean *really* easy for the first 3 months. Ok, I knew you didn't go nuts or anything. But seriously I can't lift the washing basket, chop wood, dig in the garden, vaccuum, carry my indoor plants outside to the rain, wrestle the dog, all the things I usually do. Nudda, zippo, zilch. It's plant bum on couch until Doc is happy with me. 7 vials of my prcious blood have been sucked in 2 days, and I'm about 80% fine I'm sure, however the all important scan is tomorrow. By then they will be able to pick up a heartbeat. A heartbeat kiddies! That means this little tadpole has a heart already. Pretty quick for something that is all of about maybe a centimeter and a bit long.
And if they dont find a heartbeat, well, it wont be the best news.
If the queasiness is anything to go by, I'm fine, however, tomorrow will be the clincher. So for now I'm taking it easy, it's raining anyways so I'm stuck inside beside the fire with bad daytime teev.

So yeah, it's been a crazy 2 weeks. But I'm back, bored, pregnant (until otherwise confirmed), but back.

Changes...

Cold morning again and with the change in temp comes the whole lizard thing. One thing I really have to thank my grandfather for his this vitamin A deficiency he passed on to all us girls, poor Mum copped it really badly, but the rest of us still suffer. We can tell winter is coming by the sudden burning of skin drying out, and us resembling reptiles with skin flakiness. Yeah, I own shares in moisterising companies, and oh, heavan forbid any baby-ness happens, I've got to be super careful about stretch marks. Pass the shea butter and coconut oil honey.

Spent yesterday kicking around the house, woke up feeling pretty tired and just generally gross in the belly. Add to that some great light-headed moments and I figured work could do without me. Read alot more of Kaz Cookes 'Up the Duff'. I heart that woman, she just makes me want to laugh with her witty comments about impending baby doom. Admittedly when I first started reading she scared the absolute hell out of me, had I done this, had I done that, I still needed to get to the doc and do this and this. I panicked. Visit to Mum. Over a cuppa she threatened to hit me with the bloody book, 'millions of women every year give birth to babies and do they read a book'? Most of them seem to be in Africa and I'm sure they dont have a copy of this 'zany' tome. So I read with half a mind on it, and take what information I can and then call Mum. She's done the child/baby thing. She'd know. I must admit, since talking about babies I've spent alot of time chatting with my Mum. Ok, I usually spend alot of time with my Mum but this is *different*. This is 'Mum' to 'possible future Mum' sort of bonding. And it rocks.

So while I haven't told her that I was obsessive and got out the ol' test the other night, I'll tell her tonight and no doubt she'll drive me straight to nearest chemist/supermarket to get another one to confirm. Heaven forbid she pulls out the 'thermometer' she has been threatening me with, because even though she is my Mum and I love her to bits, I think you can go too far. ;-)